Psychological counsellors in Sri Lanka say they are seeing a growing pattern of married men withdrawing from sexual relationships, and that the resulting loss of intimacy is contributing to tension and conflict between spouses.
Around 80 percent of those seeking counselling are women, and they report that their husbands gradually distance themselves from intimacy after marriage, a counsellor told the Daily Mirror.
The pattern is most often observed among men aged 35 to 45, counsellors said.
What they attribute it to
Counsellors identified financial difficulty, work-related stress, family responsibility and emotional exhaustion as factors that can reduce sexual desire. Prolonged economic pressure, they said, affects mental wellbeing and in turn a person’s interest in intimacy.
They described a shift in the nature of that pressure over time.
“In the past, physical exhaustion from demanding work was often a major factor affecting men. Today, however, many face greater psychological and emotional stress. Mental pressure can negatively affect sexual desire in men, just as it can in women,” one counsellor said.
Rising use of mobile phones and other devices was also raised, with counsellors saying heavy screen time cuts down conversation between spouses and widens emotional distance.
They further pointed to heavy pornography consumption as a factor that can build unrealistic expectations, noting that embarrassment about discussing those expectations with a partner can itself damage communication.
“Online sex is easy, convenient and simple. There is no responsibility towards anyone, and it takes only a few minutes. Men may naturally choose the easier option, which can be a psychological tendency rather than a personal flaw,” the counsellor said.
The framing counsellors urged
Counsellors said some couples come to treat intimacy as one more obligation rather than part of their emotional connection, with work pressure, childcare, household duties and unresolved disagreements compounding the problem when partners do not talk openly.
They stressed that withdrawal should not be read automatically as a loss of affection or attraction. It may instead reflect stress, emotional difficulty or relationship problems — a distinction they said matters for how partners respond.
A note on the sourcing
This report rests on a single Daily Mirror article. The counsellors quoted in it are not named, no professional body or clinic is identified, and no study, caseload data or survey is cited for either the 80 percent figure or the claim that the pattern is growing.
Those figures should therefore be read as practitioners’ impressions of who walks through their doors, not as a measurement of the married population. No other verified Sri Lankan newsroom has reported the same account.
Readers seeking help can approach the Family Planning Association of Sri Lanka’s counselling services or the Sri Lanka National Association of Counsellors, both of which offer couples counselling.
